The depth of what I'm about to share with you may be due to the stressfulness of this past week, or it may be brought on by something I can't quite describe.
As I reflect on the events of year 2010 (particularly the last few months) leading into the start of year 2011, I am burdened with a heavy heart. There have been more deaths - tragedies, to be specific - than I can count on both hands (primarily in the Apostolic movement). For some reason, I have not been able to bring myself out of deep thought on these things. I guess it has to do with the fact that I am very sensitive to these types of things, and whether I know the person or not, my heart aches for their family and the terrible loss they have suffered.
Recently, my grandmother passed away (RIP Nanny!!). I'd never experienced the loss of a loved one until now. It was hard losing her, but she had lived a full life and was going home to see Jesus, so in that our family found peace. Just the sadness and emptiness that I felt in the days after she had passed was hard enough - I can't fathom the pain that I would feel if I had lost any member of my family through tragedy. I know that God gives us peace that passeth all understanding - I have experienced that with my grandmother's death, but we, with our human emotions, still feel the loss for some time after that person is no longer in our lives. It's that little thing called "grieving" where only God and time can heal our wounds.
Back to 2010-2011 reflections - It seems as though the sad reports are coming in more frequently rather than letting up as I'd hoped. For me, 2011 has definitely been the year of death and major changes. I consider myself a very positive person who tries to make the best of bad situations..so I still hope from day to day that the sad events of fall and winter will fade away and make way for some happy things to come with the spring flowers and summer sun! (: My heart could use a happy zap *sigh*
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